"Lack of compassion or information after missed miscarriage"

We went for our 12 week scan, and found out baby died at 8 weeks.

The immediate aftercare from the midwives was terrible, they couldn't give me much help or a plan, and said I should take time to process what had happened and someone from the early pregnancy unit would be in touch tomorrow.

I personally wanted to know my options there and then as I was extremally unwell and wanted to start the process of having a missed miscarriage as soon as possible preferable the next day. They said I could likely still pass naturally and I could take 3 weeks to see if that happened, this is not something I wanted to do as I was so unwell, I couldn't delay feeling better and getting the process started.

The next day we waited for a phone call, we decided to call at 11.45 to be told the floor was closing at 12 and we wouldn’t have received a call that day (even though they promised we would) so we rushed in and got a face to face appointment.

This midwife was lovely and apologised for the care we had up to now. She said its highly unlikely I would pass naturally, and went through my medical management options, and booked me in for Monday morning to have the pills.

Fast forward to Monday, the care was below average. I was left for over an hour without pain relief after the first pills, when I asked for it, being very sick from the medicine, this happened twice in the day. Staff changeover happened at around 6pm and they lost my passed foetus bowl, so they were unsure If i had passed or not.

We had to wait to see a doctor from 6pm - 11.30pm. It was a complete and utter mess from start to finish and a truly horrific day. The midwife didn't have much compassion and when I asked for help in the peak of it, she said she couldn't do anything.

After we left the hospital, there was no follow up care, just take a test in 3 weeks. Mine was still positive after 4 weeks so I had to go back into the hospital for a scan and their tests which are less likely to pick up hCG.

Miscarriages don't just happen Monday to Friday, and that is what the care felt like. The weekend meant we couldn't get the care or answers we should have had when we found out. No one really explained how painful the process would be, but it might have helped if I was given pain relief when I asked for it.