"My treatment has made me doubt everything"

I’ve never been treated so badly by people who were suppose to care. My treatment at this hospital has affected my trust in health professionals.

When I was admitted to this hospital after gallbladder removal as someone who has Autism, who believes kindness is important and it's nice to be nice, I’ll never know what I did wrong to be treated so badly.  It’s a year on and I’ve not forgotten. 

When I pressed the buzzer for pain meds as I couldn’t cope with unbearable pain from having a blocked bile duct, a nurse came into my room, rolled their  eyes and asked -  What is it now? 

Their body language and their response made me cry. 

This same nurse repeatedly knocked on toilet door whilst I was in toilet, demanding me to shower when I felt faint and refused to shower as needed to sit down, they followed back to room and then uttered under their breathe - honest to god man. The nurse and another staff member then proceeded to change bedding and make me stand, when I felt no energy and atmosphere was tense. 

Not long before I was discharged I was placed in a room in a different unit, completely different staff and no one had told me about why I was moved or what was happening. After being in the surgical bit for a week with same staff, it would have been nice to know why or what was happening. I seemed to have been dumped in a room randomly, which was brightly lit and no staff visited. Spewing into the same bucket all night. No communication. Though was glad to leave the unit. 

On the day of discharge, staff had a handover and was questioning why people used a walking stick, and kept talking about the same member of staff and swearing, it was unpleasant to hear and they laughed over patient's details. I didn’t think it was very professional and felt like bullying. 

Some doctors couldn’t stand further away when they did their visits and again kept in dark. 

Staff could barely smile or talk to me. I go over this a lot in my head.

I’ve been left with trauma and no psychological support from what happened, it’s bad enough that I nearly died but my treatment at this hospital has made me doubt everything.

My family would often come in and have to help with tasks, I was bed rotting and you’re pretty much left to it. Out of sight out of mind. I feel if you’re elderly this is a worry, the staff don’t check enough so if you’re someone that has no family I worry. My family were shocked that no working shower, no one had encouraged walking or helping me get about or do basic tasks when I was struggling. 

Nurses just seemed rushed, rude and barely could smile.