"Lack of hydration and empathy"

During my mother's stay in ward 4 Ninewells, a nurse has refused to help her to the toilet when she was isolated in a side room with loose stools. This lack of care made my mother feel like she was an inconvenience and a pest. On answering the buzzer 15 minutes after it was pressed. The nurse stood in the door way and stated that they didn't have time to take my mum to the toilet as too busy & had other things to do. 

I've had to repeatedly ask for a safe plastic cup for my mum to drink from. This has been met with frustration and eye rolls from certain staff members. My mum is unable to pick up a heavy mug filled with hot coffee. There seemed to be a lack of care for safety and her hydration needs were overlooked. Not only has it been unsafe a burn and aspiration risk. It's been cruel to repeatedly put a drink in front of someone that they can barely access.

On the subject of drinks on one of the days stay early August I came on the the ward to find the only drinking cup she had was the same one I had poured orange juice into the previous night before I left. It was the same cup and the same juice I could tell because the cup was filthy and her water jug was full. I raised my concern that she would be dehydrated to two different nurses. One smirked and rolled his eyes the other said yeah she needs prompting. No offer to put a fluid balance chart in to record her intake and output, no offer to discuss the concern with a doctor. The filthy cup was simply taken away but I have retained a photograph of it. 

Until I recently complained about the lack of assistance with pressure relief. My mum who has osteoarthritis in her hips, hands and wrists was not assisted to reposition in bed or adjust the bed settings which she struggles with due to cognitive impairment brought on by targeted therapy. I help her during visiting but I'm aware on one occasion she was left for approx 16 hours in the same position and developed a grade one pressure injury. I noticed it and reported it to staff. A student nurse attempted to educate me and tell me it's not that bad it's only red it's not broken. A few days later another nurse argued with me that my mum could move by herself so didn't need assistance. Despite my mum developing in injury as an inpatient. 

My mum has been an inpatient in other wards across the hospital and the care has always been amazing. I do not feel she has been  treated with care, compassion and respect on ward 4. Some staff roll their eyes and I've overheard whispers about me and my family discussing their opinions regarding my complaints and reasonable expectations as to how my mum is treated. I think certain individuals need to consider it could be their mum, dad, partner or child in a similar situation one day and of course they will advocate for them if they are refused and denied basic care such as toileting, drinks and pressure relief. There seems to be one particular junior member of staff who seems to be very opinionated about my mum's care and I've caught them numerous times tutting and rolling their eyes. Astounding that someone who hasn't even started their career properly yet is so bold with their disdain for relatives. We saw them roll their eyes and shake their head when my brother reported that there was excrement on my mums curtains.

Most upsettingly my father and I learned my mum has a DNACPR in place from this admission because we heard two nurses at the end of the bay celebrating it had been actioned. Easy shift for them if anything went wrong. I'm know this conversation had to take place with my mum. However I'm beyond angry that no one thought it appropriate to contact my Dad. My mum's husband of fifty years, my mum has a terminal illness and she was told by a doctor that if CPR was attempted they'd break all her ribs and she would end up brain damaged. Imagine how upsetting it was having my mother rely that to me while she was in tears and apologising for having agreed to it. I feel like the doctors have taken advantage of her vulnerability to get a job ticked off their to do list. I understand the need for a DNACPR but my dad doesn't and I was put in a position I had to explain to him and siblings why this decision was made and attempt to explain why such disgraceful comments such as brain damage and broken ribs would have said to quickly frighten her into agreement.