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They hear the words I say but they don’t listen

Posted By cricketwj89

"They hear the words I say but they don’t listen"

About: East Midlands Ambulance Service NHS Trust / Emergency ambulance Great Oaks Inpatient Unit / Crisis Resolution & Home Treatment Team Great Oaks Inpatient Unit / Hospital Liaison Team

(as the patient),

My friends called for ambulance services after I posted a suicide note on my social media. Ambulance and mental health service then told me to go to A&E.

In my experience, crisis team members more often than not talk to you like you are thick skulled and subhuman and a waste of time, and I feel couldn’t make it anymore obvious they think you’re a burden on society.

I spoke to a member of staff on the phone while inside A&E, hours after two ambulance service referred me to the emergency department, who then criticised me for being in A&E after mental health service and aforementioned 2 ambulance services told me to go there.

I then waited 3 hours for a 10-minute conversation telling me to seek another service under Scunthorpe, after telling them I was under private mental health treatment but they didn’t seem to listen or care and then told me it was my responsibility to take care of myself and chase up appointments, almost as if I am not mentally ill to the point I don’t want help because I want to be left alone to die. In my view, they contribute to this belief time and time again; then I was sent on my way.

I went home feeling worse and had to sedate myself so I didn’t kill myself at home. I don’t feel like I matter at all in the eyes of mental health professionals. I feel like the care is suboptimal, they hear the words I say but they don’t listen. I am tired of repeating myself over and over to people who should know what they are dealing with.

This is not a new issue to me. I have had the exact same treatment years before. What will it take to be listened to? I feel that the receptionists have more grace and compassion for the ill. I understand the stress and overworking, but mental health services are somewhat inherently altruistic, you do need the patience of a saint to work day in and day out with mentally ill people. I am an adult and I do not appreciate being spoken down to by people who are meant to stop suicide. It feels like you're being treated as if you are a moral failure.

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Responses

Response from Natasha Jarrett, Acute Directorate Service Manager, North Lincolnshire Acute Services, Rotherham, Doncaster & South Humberside 3 weeks ago
Natasha Jarrett
Acute Directorate Service Manager, North Lincolnshire Acute Services,
Rotherham, Doncaster & South Humberside

Operationally oversee the Inpatient Wards, Crisis Resolution & Liaison Services in North Lincolnshire.

Submitted on 25/02/2026 at 16:34
Published on Care Opinion at 16:46

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. We are very sorry to hear how distressed you were and how unsupported you felt during your recent contact with the Crisis Resolution and Home Treatment Team (CRHT), and the Hospital Liaison service. We recognise how difficult it must have been to reach out for help at a time when you were feeling suicidal, and we are concerned to hear that the care you received left you feeling worse.

Your account describes several areas where the standard of care and communication fell short of what you should expect from our services. You describe feeling spoken down to, criticised for attending A&E after being advised to do so, and not being listened to when explaining your circumstances and existing mental health support. You also describe long waits, inconsistent advice, and interactions that left you feeling like a burden rather than someone deserving of compassion and support. This is not the experience we want anyone to have, and we are sorry that this was your experience.

It is particularly concerning to hear that you left the department feeling more distressed, unsupported, and unsafe. When someone presents with suicidal thoughts or behaviours, our priority should always be to ensure they feel heard, validated, and helped to access the right care. You should never feel blamed, dismissed, or responsible for navigating services alone at a time of crisis.

We also acknowledge your feedback about previous similar experiences and your perception that this reflects a wider pattern. Your comments about communication, tone, and the way staff speak to people in crisis are taken seriously. Compassion, dignity, and respect are core expectations for all staff, and we are sorry that this was not reflected in your interactions.

If you are willing, we would welcome the opportunity to discuss your experience in more detail so we can fully understand what happened and ensure your voice informs our learning. You are entitled to be treated with dignity, compassion, and respect, and we are committed to addressing the concerns you have raised.

Thank you again for bringing this to our attention. We appreciate how difficult it must have been to write this, and we are sorry that your experience left you feeling unheard and unsupported. Your feedback will be used to improve the way we respond to people in crisis and to ensure that others do not have a similar experience.

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