"My mental health and getting well and maintaining full sobriety"

Well I have suffered mental health since my first hospital admission in 2009 I had a big brake down and was sectioned and I had big delusions and as time passed by I was diagnosed with drug induced phycosis. Then I was sectioned again in 2016 and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and severe anxiety I always struggled with drugs and alcohol abuse from early age of 15 and I am now 35.

It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am today, I am currently doing a journal and book about my life. I have been through a terrible time and my last admission was 2023 and I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and it’s weird, I remember all my admissions now and it’s time to make what was deluded in to a reality.

I have the gift which I felt since I was a child and how I am alive today I do not no. I suffered chronic drink and cannabis abuse and crack cocaine abuse for 17 to 18 years I am very lucky to be alive I had so many people take advantage of my kind loving nature. I lost everything to drugs and alcohol, was a gateway every time to a relapse to drugs exspecially crack cociane. I could write a book which am currently doing now.

So I am currently 67 days absent from all illicit drugs and drink and I am thriving I just have severe mental health from all my life events but they are the making of me. My past will make my future, a quote I came up with, which had never been heard off. I have a lot to give, my story is golden to another person, addiction is cruel and cunning and you are lost. I had to hit rock bottom 67 days ago to get where I am today.

I had a choice so I take all my medication and end my life and leave my beloved mother heartbroken or do I change today and make something of myself and change for good and make my dreams come eventually true. Which ever the good road takes me there’s been so much heartbreak 💔 over the last 17 years. I nearly died on numerous occasions with drug overdoses and prescription overdose, but here I am today still mentally ill but alive and thankful to our good lord Jesus Christ.

He pulled me through the spares of horrific very pertential ending of my life. I burnt my hand though a pyhcotic episode then home treatment for back involved they no me well and before I still wasn’t ready and I kept letting myself down and my mum and home treat by going back to old ways.

Now is different, I have learnt and like I said it was change or see my early grave it got to that point and the amount of police call outs, though the pressure I was putting on my poor mother for money because of the car in was atrocious behaviour that was not me it had such a grip on me for many years.

Home treatment have been amazing in my life and have give me light and a new way of looking forward I can’t thank them enough and I am putting the effort in on a daily basis to stay well and strong. I do get my days known again what would it be like to have a drink but know it causes misery and nothing is going to break my strong spirit and I love my mum so much, it’s unconditional, she has been my rock though thick and thin I wouldn’t be writing this now if it wasn’t for my beloved mother.

May my future be my oyster I suffer so much aswell from visual snow syndrome and derealization it gets me down a lot but at least am alive thank you god, Amen 🙏

il leave it here for now I an grateful for small mercy’s and always will be life has been so tough and hard but it couldn’t be better now each day I do feel a bit different I have to learn to live along side the mental health part but medication really does help godbless to all who reads a part of my life AJESUS ☮️❤️🙏