"They showed me genuine compassion"

I wanted to share my experience of the maternity services I have received during what has been an incredibly emotional time in my pregnancy.

At 28 weeks, I was told that my baby could be significantly smaller than expected and that there was concern that the baby may not be growing as expected. The consultant who spoke to me was very kind, professional and reassuring, and I have nothing but positive things to say about the way I was treated during the consultation.

However, I attended the appointment alone and, at the time, I don't think I fully took in the significance of what I had been told. It wasn't until I left the consultation and went into the waiting area that the reality hit me, and I burst into tears.

I was then faced with a two-week wait before another growth scan could determine what the plan would be for my baby. A CTG was arranged for the following week, but I left the hospital feeling completely distraught.

One of my biggest worries was monitoring my baby's movements. I have an anterior placenta, so I have always found movements more difficult to feel and less consistent than I might otherwise have expected. This had been normal for me throughout my pregnancy, but suddenly I felt an enormous responsibility to monitor movements closely when I wasn't confident that I could always feel them reliably. Given the concerns about my baby's growth, this made my anxiety considerably worse.

I contacted my midwife, Lindsey (Ballymoney Health Centre) that same day, and I cannot express strongly enough how much her support meant to me.

Lindsey was absolutely amazing. She arranged for me to see her that week so that she could check the baby's heartbeat and give me some reassurance. This made an enormous difference to me. She made me feel prioritised, listened to and genuinely cared for.

Lindsey is one of the best midwives I have encountered. She is friendly, welcoming and incredibly compassionate. Even when she was busy, she went above and beyond for me. She arranged a home visit on her way between appointments to make sure I could have my baby's heartbeat checked before the weekend. At a time when I was frightened and struggling emotionally, that kindness meant more than I can explain.

On the Saturday, I became concerned about my baby's movements and called the emergency obstetric unit. The staff there were incredibly kind and reassuring. However, I had previously attended the department and experienced a wait of around five hours, so I was apprehensive about coming in again. I had childcare to arrange and, understandably, the thought of potentially spending many hours in hospital added to my anxiety.

I was therefore relieved when the midwife suggested that I monitor my baby's movements at home rather than attending the hospital. I appreciated the reassurance and the practical approach taken on that occasion.

I then attended my CTG appointment at the Day Obstetric Unit the following Tuesday.

The Day Obstetric Unit is an appointment based service in a private and calm environment where you are cared for by a midwife, and my midwife that day was Mary.

Mary was absolutely incredible.

I was worried about attending for the CTG. I had found it very difficult to sleep during the preceding week.

On the wall in the unit there are various information posters to support women throughout pregnancy. One of them asks:

"Why is it important to be kind?"

The answer says:

"Because we walk past hundreds of people every day, and none of them wear signs that say, 'I'm grieving', 'I'm exhausted', or 'I'm barely holding it together.' But they're everywhere. Kindness might be the only softness they receive today."

That message really stayed with me, because Mary genuinely embodies it.

From the moment I met her, I felt that she treated me as a person rather than simply another patient attending for a CTG. She listened to me, reassured me and took my concerns seriously.

What struck me particularly was that her kindness extended beyond the patients. I heard her speaking to a colleague on the phone and thanking them for being wonderful. My immediate thought was, "Wow, you really love your job." It was clear that the care and kindness she showed weren't something she simply put on for patients; they were part of who she was.

Mary went above and beyond for me. She arranged for me to attend the unit again before my growth scan so that the baby's wellbeing could continue to be monitored as my pregnancy is considered high risk for various reasons. Those additional appointments gave me an enormous amount of confidence and reassurance during an incredibly frightening period.

I cannot overstate how much the care I received from Lindsey and Mary has helped me through this experience.

When you are told that your baby may not be growing as expected, it is an incredibly frightening thing to hear. The uncertainty, the waiting and the responsibility of monitoring movements can feel overwhelming. I was emotionally exhausted.

The care I received from these midwives made me feel safe.

They made me feel that my concerns mattered. They gave me reassurance when I needed it, but most importantly, they showed me genuine compassion.

I would like my feedback to recognise Lindsey and Mary specifically. They are a credit to the maternity service and to Antrim & Causeway hospital and the community. Their kindness, dedication and willingness to go above and beyond had a profound impact on my experience.

I hope the hospital understands just how valuable midwives like Lindsey and Mary are. Clinical care is, of course, incredibly important, but during a vulnerable and frightening pregnancy, the human side of care can make an enormous difference.

I will always remember how they cared for me during one of the most frightening periods of my pregnancy.

Thank you, Lindsey and Mary, for making me feel cared for, listened to and safe.