"Negotiating care"

I’m very unhappy with how I have been treated throughout the whole process of receiving care. From GP’s being unaware of mental health concerns, to chasing up SPA over and over again, to be let down by individuals with senior positions, to being referred to Psychosis Intervention services, to Specialist Psychotherapy, to CBT and then re-referred to the Mood team, I am at a loss.

I have been constantly been told that I have had a negative experience by staff because of being batted from service to service - in their words. I’ve experienced these problems due to standard operational and bureaucratic procedures.

I’ve experienced constant retriggering experiences due to having to tell my story and symptoms over and over again, while experiencing a plethora of symptoms due to my diagnosis of bipolar. I’ve been sent to services due to tick box exercises that determine my pathway- completely negating my feelings and voice.

I’ve been made promises time and time again - without asking for promises -might I mention - for them to be broken anyway. I’m not a statistic, a collection of data on a spreadsheet- I am a person with a need that is not being met.

Having worked in MH services, now I can understand the difficultly that patients face - becoming increasingly disillusioned with support and the system and becoming entirely disengaged with support.

My GP offers no help or guidance- I am left to contact my GP regarding medication updates, renewals with no questions about how I am finding the new medication or medication consultations or reviews.

Each step has put the onus on me rather than the usual stance of ‘encouraging independence’ or recovery model. I came to services wanting support but now I feel an unnecessary level of stress from trying to negotiate - and I mean negotiate - my support.

How am I supposed to hold down a job, relationships, basic day to day functioning. I’m not asking to be fast-tracked, to have a superior level of support, nor am I asking for an apology for what I’ve spoken about above. I am just wanting a basic level of support and reassurance that my needs will be met.

My experience has been disappointing, misleading and showcases a lack of collaboration and communication between services and a level of disrespect towards a service user I would hope no one else would have to endure. A lack of foresight, person centered care and responsibility has understandably exacerbated distress and a feeling of distrust.

I originally wanted to make a formal complaint, but I am unable to navigate a system which seems to fail service users and cause unnecessary delay to their recovery.