"Palliative care for my wife"

About: Community Services / Winchester Rural East District Nursing Community Therapy Services / Eastleigh and Chandler’s Ford

(as a carer),

My wife was diagnosed with a rare connective tissue disorder in 2019. We both know there is no cure and it has times of dormancy and activity.

Currently we are in extreme active mode and this causes horrendous pain for my wife which was not managed well, in spite of me trying to get help and being told A&E was the best option. This we didn’t agree with; they are good for RTAs or sudden heart / stroke events but not this rare disease.

We had past contact with a local hospice at the last active session, which I requested to have again, but the GP didn’t give enough information on the referral form and so this was initially declined.

There were delays in communicating this to us and was very upsetting for my wife, autistic children and myself. I contacted carers together for help and managed to get another contact for the hospice and they changed their mind and visited, prescribed some medications and left.

The pain continued with vengeance and I contacted Lucy for help. She came out and assessed the situation and went beyond her remit as an OT which we will be ever grateful for and the cork was released from the bottle and help finally began to happen and within one day a syringe driver was set up to help with my wife’s pain and nausea and we are slowly getting the pain under control.

The District Nursing team are back involved as well which our case was closed earlier this year despite the ongoing leg ulcers my wife has on top of this horrid condition. We had been wrongly advised with the dressings that I’ve been having to do on a daily basis by our GP practice and this as well was so upsetting to find out.

All we needed was proper support and proper advice and understanding which is finally happening thanks to Lucy who has gone beyond and will be forever thankful.

As a husband / carer this has been the toughest few years in my life and this is when you need the support. I know Covid didn’t help, so did our best, but now proper help (which is now happening) is needed to continue.

Thanks again Lucy

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Responses

Response from Abigail Barkham, Divisional Clinical Lead for Physical Health Mid and North Hampshire, Mid and North Hampshire, Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust 6 days ago
Abigail Barkham
Divisional Clinical Lead for Physical Health Mid and North Hampshire, Mid and North Hampshire,
Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust

I am the consultant for the Mid Hampshire Urgent Community Response service. Looking after individuals at home instead of hospital when it is safe to do so.

Submitted on 11/11/2024 at 21:43
Published on Care Opinion at 21:43


picture of Abigail Barkham

Thank you so much for taking the time to tell us about your experiences.

Its sounds to me like this has been quite a disconnected experience. I can also understand how difficult, distressing and frustrating this has been for both you and your wife.

The role Lucy OT and the district nurses have played in the later part of your wife’s care seems to have made a positive impact on you and your wives treatment and support.

As you say all you needed was proper support and understanding and I very much hope this is happening now for you both. I wish you, your family and your wife the very best.

I have made sure that the therapy team and the district nursing team have seen your story.

thank you

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Update posted by herculesyn75 (a carer)

Thank you.

The disconnect continues as my wife was admitted to Winchester Hospital again with a raging infection caused by the leg ulcer that had totally broken down. The paramedic was excellent and knew she needed to go to a ward bypassing A&E for IV antibiotics... however, this was rejected by control as everything gets funneled through the ED department.

27 hours later (yes 27 hours on an ED stretcher, in pain) my wife was taken to a ward. Then passed from one ward to another, ending up now in a gynecology ward and it is not their expertise. Her syringe driver has never been changed on time and they don't have the right syringes/needles. She has been passed from one department to another and back again and now the infection is sorted wants to come home and I'm ready for her.

The trouble now is they want the enablement team to set up a care package (which we have) and she can't come out until this is in place. I've confirmed I am here and have been doing the care for her for over 3 years now, yes I would like the package added to but don't need a new one. This doesn't seem to be understood.

This is the shorter version but oh boy... needs proper joined-up thinking to happen. I hope someone can break through the bureaucracy

Response from Abigail Barkham, Divisional Clinical Lead for Physical Health Mid and North Hampshire, Mid and North Hampshire, Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust 4 days ago
Abigail Barkham
Divisional Clinical Lead for Physical Health Mid and North Hampshire, Mid and North Hampshire,
Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust

I am the consultant for the Mid Hampshire Urgent Community Response service. Looking after individuals at home instead of hospital when it is safe to do so.

Submitted on 13/11/2024 at 20:09
Published on Care Opinion at 20:09


picture of Abigail Barkham

Oh Goodness NHS bureaucracy at its best. If I can help at all please do reach out and email me

abigail.barkham@southernhealth.nhs.uk

We do have a HIOW healthcare In Reach service based at Winchester hospital. It’s possible they could help connect things for you?

Happy to try?

Best Wishes

Abby

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